Dear Ms. Emily - Talking to strangers

Dear Ms. Emily:

I like to talk to strangers. Nothing pleases me more than to meet new people and engage them in conversation. My wife says I am crazy and should keep to myself, but I can’t help it. I find people fascinating and it makes me feel good to talk to them. Do you think my talking to strangers is weird?

Jack

Dear Jack:

I think your desire to talk with strangers is wonderful. It sounds like you’re more of an extrovert than your wife. Over the last 10 years there has been research done on what are called, HEPs, Highly Empathic People. One of the habits which HEPs develop is talking with strangers on the bus, in the mall, anywhere when they have time to kill.

The key is not to interrogate people but to be a curious inquirer. 95 % of the time if people are approached in a kind, sensitive way, following the person’s cues and responses, people will engage in a positive way and both parties will enjoy the interaction.

The world would be a much happier, better place, if everyone set for themselves a goal of striking up a conversation with a stranger at least once a week or maybe even once a day if there are opportunities to do so.

Unfortunately, out of our fear, parents instruct their children not to talk to strangers as if strangers would do them harm conditioning their children to live in fear of the other. This is a terrible world we inadvertently create in our misguided attempts to keep our children safe. Children do need to learn manners and how to handle situations using good judgment, but 99% of people are good people who would do no harm. It’s the 1% that engender the fear that lead us to live in anxious isolation.

By all means Jack continue sharing the blessing of being kind to strangers. It makes this world a much happier, healthier, more pleasant place to live in.

Sincerely,

Ms. Emily